Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas!!

Well Christmas is basically here and i cannot believe it. My mom arrived this past weekend and will be with us until the 2nd of january. Then i hope time slows down a bit. Were getting a huge snow storm, even for Minnesota this is a big one. Were expected to get 20+ inches by tomorrow night and saturday. Were going to be cooped up i just hope our plows stay on top of it!

I had my 32 week appt yesterday withe my Doctor's midwife. Im still measuring 2 weeks ahead and his heart beat was strong and loud and he moved around a bit from the midwife lol. Were still unsure of how the birth will go. I will be evaluated at 36 weeks to find out if its natural or a c-section. There are several notes on my chart due to the previous history with this pregnancy. People are still saying January and im sorry but please stop telling me when hes going to come. Im not even due until the middle of february and since im 2 weeks ahead, the doctor says that really doesnt mean anything. He may be a big baby or hes just laying funny everytime im being measured. However, it does not indicate that he will come that much earlier. I will take guesses on his hair color though LOL.

A little background with my hair color, my moms dad had natural red hair and it skipped a generation and went to me. My dads side of the family has some auburn but no red heads except for me. So whats the guess?? Nicks hair is brown in case people forget but when he was born and up until he was 2 he had white white blonde hair that ended up being brown now lol. So any guesses? Id love for him to have red hair but am concerned that since it skipped a generation it may do it again. So what are my chances for red hair :)

I hope everyone has a great holiday/Christmas!!! Stay safe and warm and really enjoy your time with family. I wish we could be back home with everyone but Nicks vacation is being saved for when baby boy is born. Im happy to have a piece of my family here though :)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Lately--31 weeks

This is me via the cell phone and thats just one of our three trees :) 31 weeks and growing!
Bending over is becoming a task and a half and sleep is just not comfortable with a head in your side, or at least thats what im assuming is in my side lol. These are all typical things that i expected to happen and dont really complain about because its just part of the process. However, i think my husband has failed to recognize that this is what im going through. He recently had two teeth pulled a wisdom tooth and the one right next to it. While i give him credit and that it was painful, try handing your body over for 9 months and being worried every day. At the same time you dont see me walking around complaining about that every second of the day. That was my small vent for the day!

On the other hand, i will hit 60 days tomorrow and i just cannot believe it. Its going by so fast still. Im starting to wonder when this slowing down occurs. I go to the doctor next week and then start going every two weeks! I will find out when im 36 weeks if its a c-section or natural birth. I am also curious as to what he will measure this time. Im hoping not large still! Lately, he really kicks up for orange juice and even caught it on video for Nick and our parents. The doctor also has me monitoring and timing his movements and so far so good but if i get stressed out it takes him a bit more to move around which I am not surprised. I do very well at maintaining a low stress level but there are occasions where it spikes.

Lately, i have been researching freezing meals and hope to have my mom help some when she comes up next weekend. Since we have no family around at all and the only people we know are Nicks co-workers, we have to rely on ourselves which is perfectly fine but i know when it comes down to it i will miss having lots of people around who would think to bring over food or just to sit with us for a chat. Its going to be so different and i just hope we handle it well together. Im off school now so i have the change to blog a bit more when i think of more to write.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Charley Horses!

My oh my!!! I have had them the last four nights in a row and finally had them in both legs at the same time last night and i woke up screaming. Luckily nick is on a business trip, otherwise I would have scared him so bad. So im drinking tons of extra water and eating bananas. A friend of mine suggested orange juice but this little boy becomes super awake and hyper and i dont think that would help me right before bed. I will see how it goes tonight and let you all know.

With the upcoming holidays coming so fast I am so excited to have my mom here for two weeks but at the same time I am so worried about February being even closer!! Im not really worried about becoming a mom, I am just nervous about the birth process. My doctor is waiting until im further along to tell me if its a c-section or natural.

On this last note, i am so so so TIRED of hearing that my relatives think im going to have him in january!! Im not due until Valentines day. I need to at least go to Feb 1st, i want to get that amethyst birth stone plus i need him to stay in as long as possible!!! Some of my friends are surprised that people are saying early since this is my first child id be much happier if people thought id be overdue. Please people at least give me until February 1st!!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Getting there...

I do not like that time is flying by. Im honestly petrified of it going to fast. I know the holidays are helping time fly but i really need it to slow down. People think i will be kicking myself in january when i want it to speed by and it wont. Sorry, but im fine with it slowing down. Im having a lot of anxiety a, bout everything. I have come to the realization that it will only be Nick and I at the hospital when he's born and the first week after. Im fine with it just being he and I when I deliver but I will miss family and visitors. Im really nervous that will throw me into some sort of depression.

My mom asked if i wanted her to wait to come until Nick goes back to work and although it would make sense im torn. Id love to have someone here right away to meet our little guy but my mom said she didnt want to be in the way while Nick was home so shes going to wait a week and then come. My inlaws arent coming until March or April, which I wish theyd come sooner because hes going to change so much by then!! I guess im just down today but also feeling sad for myself.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Update & Baby Shower

I wish i had pictures but sadly our camera is broken. Were waiting for a replacement piece. It was wonderful to see friends and family come together. We wish we could have stayed longer but nicks vacation time wouldnt have allowed for it. My mom is coming up in a few weeks to stay for Christmas and I cannot wait since I feel like i only got a blip of time with her. It was very odd to say goodbye and we'll see everyone when we have our baby in our arms!!!

My Gestational Diabetes test came back normal so yay! Luckily the drink wasn't even bad at all. I think some people make more out of it then it really is. I think the quote of the day at the shower was " Your not really that big at all" LOL. After a few times i was like okay i hear ya. Of course according to my husband im huge :) I do have a picture from my cell phone at 29 weeks 1 day. We received a ton ton ton of clothes! I was expecting it but not really to this level. Some larger things were purchasing with the gift cards we received, so needless to say we have no where to walk at the moment.

On another note, we are looking at houses. With keeping this in mind, i dont get to set up a nursery :( I really want to but if were going to be moving right around when Im due then its not the best idea. We have a bassinet and other things in the house but the rest will have to move to storage until we have a house. Im hoping to find something soon but im also realistic that im 7 months pregnant and moving does not sound good to me but it would benefit all of our stuff haha.

Finally, at my last appointment i was measuring 2 weeks ahead but she said that doesnt mean anything necessarily so im trying not to get worked up. Today, im noticing my left foot is starting to swell a bit. Oh all the joys of pregnancy :) Did i mention i havent worn my wedding rings since 7 weeks! I had some issues with swelling fingers then and havent worn it since. I miss it!!! Sorry for the long update but its been awhile. I promise to get back to normal blogging.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Aches and Pains

I know that all pregnant women have them but mine have just started to roll in. My back is starting to hurt from carrying around this belly but thats alright. Sleep has been okay but not as great as it use to be. Along with getting up numerous times I also cant fall back asleep because i feel like i have mini earthquakes in my stomach which is the greatest feeling ever, even if it is at 4 am!

I am now able to see my shirt move when hes kicking which is odd but im sure the start of what i will see to come in the future. I definately dont walk fast by any means but then again I never really did. Im enjoying getting ready for the holidays and our very fast approaching trip back home for Thanksgiving.

As everything approaches so quickly it makes me extremely nervous about labor & his birth. Ive had some physical problems along the way which have been discussed with my doctor. My chances of having a c-section are back to normal so I am unsure of what will happen. Since everything that has occurred so far and Im still considered high risk, i would rather opt for the c-section because i still have underlying problems that my doctor cannot figure out until after he is born. As each day gets closer, i get more anxious then before and I know others feel this anxiety but up that by 100% and that is mine. I hope and pray everyday that i just go about the day without worrying about it but no matter what its in the back of my mind. Im hoping for the best for both of us!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Things are coming along!

First of all, on saturday we hit double digits until my due date. I had a panic attack at first because i feel very disorganized and like i want to clean and redo everything. I think this is the beginning of nesting for me. I can't truly fix up or rearrange the guest room into his nursery because its possible that we may move either way whether it be an upgrade at our current place or moving into a house. Im pulling for a house but we will see what happens.

So with that in mind we ordered our crib and dresser weeks ago. Each one was a gift from my parents and Hubbys mom. We purchased a glider rocker off of craigslist and it needs to be recovered because I dont think pink will work for him or I. Which is perfectly fine because we assumed this either way. So now im on the hunt for some fabric. Our crib and dresser is from Baby Dream Serenity line. We ordered it in cherry and it will take 8-12 weeks to come in.

I just scored an amazing deal on our bedding which is Lambs & Ivy Classic Sage. We purchased it brand new for half price off of Ebay which you have to love. I cannot wait for it to come in. When we were out over the weekend we went to Tj Maxx and Home goods and found a lamp for his nursery. However we cannot find a picture online at all. Its extremely similar to the picture above except that the base and trim on the shade is chocolate brown. Otherwise, its identical. So this purchase saved us $40 off his matching lamp.

Once we know if were staying or going we can work around the room to put in some other items and even look for wall art and decals. If you have any ideas or suggestions feel free to leave them below.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

No news is good news

Nothing new to report really. Im exhausted constantly! That isnt news i have felt this way pretty much the whole pregnancy. I got the H1N1 shot today. Im glad i no longer have to be irritated to get it or etc. I felt pretty unsure of the whole thing but felt pushed into it so I got it. If i never hear about it again i will be so grateful. Our little boy is more active these days. He definately moves more after I eat but i am starting to feel him at other times too. He especially likes to kick my bladder! LOL. He thinks hes a comedian i guess.

I had a great birthday other than throwing up that morning! I cant believe we will be home in a few weeks and its going to go by so fast cause we will only be home for like 3 or 4 days. Ive started Christmas shopping and im glad since some things i need to take home in a few weeks. My next appointment isnt until the 23rd so I have quite a bit to go yet before any more news. At that appointment i will be tested for GD so well see how that goes. Ive heard that it tastes awful but well see i guess. Ive drank worse things for other tests. Thats it for now!!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

24 wk. Doctors Visit

Well it went excellent!!! We went in and had to fill out an extra paper on if i had been sick which I am so i was segregated to another part of the waiting area. It was very odd but i understand lol. The nurse was telling us how anyone who had most of the symptoms had to be examined in the quarantined area downstairs so the nurses and doctors were exhausted from running back and forth. I only have 2 of the symptoms so i got to stay upstairs.

I definately have a viral thing that just needs time even though its been two weeks. Luckily, for me the chest congestion is lifting a ton thanks to the benadryl so now she wants me to go back to the robitussin for the stuffy nose and cough. I mentioned my recent dizziness and she had asked how my ears felt and etc and said to keep an eye on that, if im dizzy still next week she needs to start me on two prescriptions. She doesnt want me to start them now because we dont know that i have an ear infection and the second thing is that the medicine will exhaust me a ton which she said i dont need since im already taking extra naps :)

The baby was measuring at 25 weeks which she said is perfect! She also listened to his heartbeat loud and strong at 150 bpm. I now have Round ligament pain on both sides but nothing that i can fix so just rest and fluids. She said she was happy to hear i feel "thumps" after i eat and by the next appointment it should be more consistant and stronger :) She said all around shes happy that hes so perfect :) It really made my day to hear hes doing so well. I didnt gain any weight at all which is perfectly fine. Everything was great other then a sick mommy but thats okay :)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Small update

I just made cupcakes the other day for a food challenge and boy did our little baby boy Love them! He was doing flips i think and his daddy attempted to feel it and still he hides from us both. I have been having crazy dreams and i know its because im pregnant and sick. That is right i still have this awful cold. I mean i take naps for two hours or more due to being sick and I hate that but obviously need the rest! My doctor's appointment is tomorrow so we will see how everything is progressing. No ultrasound this time but that is okay. Until tomorrow, see you later!

P.S. I still cannot decide which bedding to get! Ughhh lol.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Update and Vent

People drive me nuts. I have been sick over a week now and it is not fun nor is it suppose to be. But for crying out loud try being sick when your pregnant and everything is off limits to you! Ive been told to calm down and wait it out. Well lets see i am waiting it out and im not worked up about it, but just think if your carrying another human being for the first time in your life, wouldnt you worry about every medicine you put in your body? I think its only natural. Now mind you, the person who told me to calm down has no children what so ever.

With all this talk of H1N1 going around and etc, i think i had a reason to be nervous. Now i do not have a fever just major chest congestion and stuffiness. From time to time i feel a bit dizzy but i think thats from the benadryl the dr told me to take. I go for my 24 week appt. on the 28th, its just a basic appt, no ultrasound. I am feeling some movement now basically after i eat and that is it. I feel like the lack of movement is due to the problems I have had with my placenta. Our little boy likes to play hide and seek. Nick and I will both try to feel for him on the outside and he will not budge but I can feel him constantly from the inside. Since ive been sick its less movement but im guessing that he senses its time to relax for mommy!

I am very excited to be going home in a month for thanksgiving and our couples shower! My MIL and SIL were in town and we did some shopping for the little boy and definately picked out some green. I still do not understand why blue has to be the only designated boy color. Dont get me wrong i like a little bit of light blue but not everywhere i go! Most of the things i registered for i was very careful in not choosing too much blue. I guess thats my update and vent on the color blue and being sick.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Baby bedding!

So now that we know its a boy, were making decisions on everything in order to get ready for my shower next month. We registered at Babies R Us and it took us about two hours!! Who knew but Nick was more then ready to leave lol. We didn't choose any bedding there simply because we did not like any. We have three options which we will just end up buying ourselves which is more then fine. So please vote and if theres a certain one that you just dont like at all please tell me why below :) TY ***I will note that i do not like typical boy bedding that consists of noahs ark and trucks and cars. Im not really into the rainforest/jungle theme either but yes one of them does have animals on it ***

These are not in order of the ones i favor the most :)

#1 above is from
#2 above is Nojo Jungle tales
#3 is giggling turtles from the gap.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Its a boy!!

We were both shocked to hear it was a boy! I think deep down I really knew becuase i have had like 80 dreams about having a boy and only 1 where it was a girl. We do have a name for him and have had it since before I was even pregnant. Its a big secret though :)~ There is still not much going on in the movement front but the doctor is not concerned. She said the previous tingling I had was the baby but i have yet to feel it again or any kicks or elbows.

In time, he will make up his mind and give a good jab to his mommy. The doctor released me to go back to Ohio for thanksgiving and my baby shower ! Wooo hoo!! this is excellent news! I cannot wait to see all of my family and nick's family too. It will be way too exciting. Since it is a boy, i am so determined that he will have red hair. If it would have been a girl i had doubts about the red hair since it skips a generation in my family. So we will see. Nick is betting on brown. We are registering on Saturday at BRU and i hope it goes well since we don't really have anything picked out except a swing! Baby is growing right where he should be. Hes a few ounces below for his age but im sure he can catch up in no time as the doctor was not concerned!

Im off for now hoping to get some homework done and then go shopping for the first time for the baby boy!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

New stroller!

We ordered our stroller on Monday and it arrived last night from It is the Graco townsend stroller available only online. Its very neutral for either gender which is great so that if we have any more children we can hopefully use it again. It's a turquoise color and brown. Yes I did totally push it all over our living room last night. Nick just looked at me and shook his head. I think it became a reality to me when we had our first big baby item in the house. I said " oh my gosh nick were going to have a real baby in there someday!"

On another note, i woke up around 3 am like usual and went back to bed but I could not go to sleep. Around 3:30 i felt like a small push against my stomach which i had rolled onto. I am guessing that was Baby P and he/she wanted me to stop squishing them lol. I have not felt it again but it felt like nothing else I ever felt before. So we will see if they start to pick up on moving around. I cannot wait for them to move around a bit more so Nick can feel it too!

Friday, September 25, 2009


So im sure that everyone knows how when your pregnant your extremely emotional. Im getting better as the weeks go on but i still find myself crying at the drop of a hat. I cry at the slightest things and cry sometimes when im confused. As the weeks progress it is getting slightly better but is still there. One of my very close nestie friends had her daughter this week and i balled when she sent me pictures. I even cried when she told me she was crying at the sight of the flowers i had sent her. It really doesn't take much.

I finally had my hair cut which I so desperately needed after not being able to while on bed rest. My stylist is extremely sweet and was so excited to hear that I was expecting. She also made a guess on the gender for the baby and like everyone else seems to think that it is a boy. I look forward to a relaxing weekend at the orchard fall festival even though im feeling like a pumpkin myself.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Nothing new yet..

Its about 2 weeks until my appointment and so far no really big changes. I still am having a discharge but dont worry she knew about this at my last appointment. Im just hoping its not some type of infection. One of my very very good friends is in labor as we speak, however, she lives in Illinois so were chatting via text so i know how shes doing. Im so excited for her to meet her daughter.

Everyone keeps asking, literally every day if im feeling movement. To be honest, not really. I have these moments where i feel a sort of tingling feeling but from everything i read im not sure if thats the baby or im just crazy lol. Its always around or above my belly button. From everything ive read, its suppose to be lower and once you feel it, you should feel it non stop. Well i may or may not feel it about once a day nothing consistant. So if anyone knows if thats it please let me know :)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Crib search

We have been looking at cribs for a while now. Were going to attempt to go to the last place which is about 40 minutes away. So far the one we like is online at They have great furniture! If Nick starts to feel better then were going and i cannot wait just so we can say we have looked everywhere and finally make a decision. I like to check things off the list and this is a big one. So im crossing fingers nick feels better soon! Ive also been very into the fall season even though its hotter then heck here!!!

Im so in the mood for pumpkins and spice and fall fashion! Im thinking happy fall thoughts!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Name Game

So we have been asked several times if were thinking about any names. We definately have names chosen for a girl or a boy. The middle names are up in the air between a few choices but we'll decide once we know what the baby is. Everyone keeps asking if we will tell them. We decided we want to keep the name a secret until the baby is born. We literally aren't telling anyone, not even our parents. Since were going to tell the gender we just wanted to keep one thing as a surprise.

Were hoping the doctor will also release us at the next appointment so that we can go home for a shower that our mom's are throwing us :) I just have to make sure that i can travel on the road for twelve hours since im a high risk pregnancy. If we can well be home at Thanksgiving. I really really want to convince nick to take an extra day so we can stop off and see Michelle's new baby girl :) I'll keep working on him hehe. Thats all for now! Take care.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


So we thought we'd find out if we were having a son or a daughter but to our surprise thats a big no. We walked into the Ultrasound and she looked at my placenta and cervix and i mean really looked at that placenta which im happy about. I inquired about this being our anat. scan and she said it wasnt when we were clearly told it was. I am too early for that scan and had issues with downing two bottles of water before hand, which i actually threw up from drinking too fast and barely had any in me.

She stated she thought things looked great and that this will be the last time the whole baby will fit on one screen, AHHHH!! Heart rate was 151 bpm and they were very very active. My doctor said she was sooo happy that things are looking better. The placenta moved away from my cervix and is reattaching! She said theres a small blood clot but apparently i had it last time and it hasnt gotten bigger so no need to worry but if i experience bleeding again not to panic.

Im still considered a high risk pregnancy but bedrest is lifted!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!! Nick had the day off and took me to lunch afterwards which was my first outing and it was short but sweet. I also brought up a few concerns i have about my BP so im doing a protein test for that tomorrow and friday. As well as i was diagnosed with Pregnancy Carpal Tunnel which is why i only have the energy to type this once. She tested me and had me put my wrists in a certain position and hold it and it was extremely painful! So now i have a splint on my right hand and wrist. Im limited to a certain amt. of computer activity and driving. She said this type of carpal tunnel is very common in pregnant women because of all the extra fluid pushing on the nerves and tendons.

My next routine appt is october 7th and for sure they are determining the gender then is what my doctor said :) I go at 9 am for the ultrasound and 10 for the doctor. Thanks to everyone for all of your prayers, we still need them because we worry every day but were glad we got some good news for a change! I apologize for any texts/messages online that i havent responded to i just can barely type as it is but im trying.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Labor Day weekend *warning: tmi*

Its usually full of fun and relaxing times and here we are lol. I am glad that nick will be off tomorrow as well and then only a few days until my doctors appointment. Praying and hoping to hear good news and not bad news. Everyone keeps asking how im doing and honestly im doing the same. I am still having the same issues as before except no bright red blood, knock on wood. Sorry for those of you who are sensitive to that talk. I still am experiencing discolored discharge (sorry TMI) but its happening regardless. This is my third week on bedrest and im hoping for a 10 min car ride today as part of my 30 minutes up a day. I cannot wait to get fresh air!

If i start not feeling well back in i go. Im more nervous about the walk to the car because im not walking that much at all. Being on bedrest is best for me and the baby but really is starting to take a toll on both my body and mind. I can barely walk without feeling dizzy and im constantly upset about not being able to do much or just getting frustrated because i cannot do anything. The next time i update will be on Weds for the big doctors appointment, wish us luck and prayers :)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

One week..

Just one week until we find out if the baby is a boy or girl. Were very excited and just hope the baby cooperates. I havent felt the baby move but i know its still early for that. Typically happens between 18-20 weeks along. Ill be 17 when i go to the doctor. Im also anxious and nervous to hear how the placenta is doing. Im expecting to continue with bedrest that way i am prepared to hear that. Lately i have been waking up a few times during the night which is not fun but i guess preparing me for the future.

If you have a guess on the gender feel free to post in under my comments :) Nick and i have a guess but were keeping it a secret lol. We dont want to influence everyone else's guess.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Burp cloths and anniversaries

So im already very ancy and still have just over a week to go until my next doctors appointment. I wanted to do a craft and selected something for the baby. I selected all the fabric online and sent nick out to look for it. The phone rang multiple times and he got most of them and only picked one wrong fabric. I was very surprised to see how excited Nick was to help me with the project, but dont tell him i said that lol. We picked boy and girl patterns since we dont know which one it will be and made four of each pattern. So currently we have 12 completed and still have more fabric. The backside is a different print from the front side. Above is a picture of some of the different patterns.
On another, non-baby note, today is the one year anniversary of my father in laws death. I cannot believe it has been a year. If you could keep Nick's mom, sister, nick and I in your thoughts and prayers today it would be wonderful. I am sure Nick will not say much today about it but they could all use your prayers today. I wear my purple bracelet proudly to help keep awareness out there for pancreatic cancer. They need more funding and research to get rid of such a terrible deadly disease.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Lack of sleep

This past week i haven't slept well at all. Im on the couch 24/7 because the bed just isnt working for me to sleep in. Everytime i sleep on it i roll to my side or stomach which is not allowed. So the couch prevents me from doing that. Well after being on it more than a week, im over it. I never liked the couch before and now I especially dislike the couch. My neck and head is constantly sore along with my right leg constantly going to sleep from lack of movement.
I sleep for about two hours then im awake for two-three hours then back asleep. I know im complaining but i feel like everything is falling apart on me.

I am doing my job though, staying down and laying down. I think the hardest thing is actually just laying around. There are so many things i want to do and get up for but know that I cannot so im learning more patience that way. I know its best for the baby and me so I will do whatever it takes. Im being told the lack of sleep is just preparing me for the future which Im ready for.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

14 weeks and 5 days...

We had sort of an emergency ultrasound today. I have been on bedrest the last week already due to bleeding. The bleeding is still continuing and throw that in with morning sickness kicking up again as of monday and thats how you get an ultrasound. The ultrasound revealed that i have placenta previa which means the placenta is detaching from the wall. The only way for it to be healed is with bedrest. So im on for two more weeks until i have another ultrasound.

The worst part is hearing "threatened miscarriage" from my doctor. She stated that it may or may not happen. Anytime there is bleeding involved its better to be aware that it could happen. Since im already so emotional these days, that just added to it. Nick and I are praying that the baby continue to grow and that this can begin to heal or reattach. She did say due to the complications that I am having that i am high risk and i will most likely deliver prematurely. A C-section is very possible at this point and she stated most people who have placenta previa have c-sections like 99% of them.

We really could use any and all prayers. I especially am a natural worrier and worry about everything and as much as i appreciate people telling me to relax it doesnt work. I mean how would you feel if you felt like something awful could happen at any moment. The unknown is very scary. By the time i go back to the dr i will have been on bedrest for 3 weeks. I cannot even imagine because ive only been on it for a week and im already going nuts! So if you ever see me around online feel free to talk to me because i guarantee i will be extremely bored!