Wednesday, January 27, 2010

No induction needed!

As of right now i do not need an induction unless i go a week overdue. This was excellent news. I did not want to be induced because of all of the bad things i heard about medications and etc. I also tested negative for my swab test so that is also good news so i can labor at home until its 3-4 minutes apart. His growth is still ahead as always and so far no contractions as much as im aware of at least.

I will need some intense prayers over the next few weeks. Im highly anxious about the whole process and i need to trust my body but i just cannot seem to. Im dreading the pain and everything involved with checking me. Trust me ive known all along what is involved but chose not to worry too much ahead of time. People may laugh and think oh please everyone does it. Please dont compare my body to another persons when you have no idea what its been like to go through this pregnancy with such intense pain. I really hope that someone is watching over me and blesses me with an easy delivery and labor. I just want to see him and not worry about the pain.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

37 weeks!!!

Sorry for the late recap on my 36 week appointment. Baby boy is 6 lbs 11 oz!! I just cannot believe it. That places him in the 73rd percentile. The midwife did my appointment and said that i need to speak with the doctor about the size. Sometimes they consider that to be large so they induce early. Induction is not what i wanted to hear. I cannot wait to meet our baby boy but i have heard of all the effects and things that happen. I honestly wish for a c-section for multiple reasons. Many people do not understand that and even some women feel bad if they have a c-section, I on the other hand would not. I have had far too many pain problems and I am extremely concerned about what my body can handle. He is head down and just chillin. They gave us a picture of his face and he so has nicks big cheeks!!!

I cannot wait to squeeze them :) At this point in time, we are stalled on two different houses. One is about a 30 minute commute for nick to work while the other is just down the street. They are so drastically different in looks and price so that is why we are so torn. To live here where we have everything at our fingertips costs more money for location wheras the other house is further and there is basically no stores, doctors, etc. I grew up 30 minutes from everything so for me it is really no change other then i am now accustomed to having conveinances. The baby and house stress has my anxiety at an all time high but i know that in the end things will work out the way they are meant to. The big scary "swab" test i had was not so bad as they let me do it myself and was pain free just a bit awkward was all. I find out the results this week at my doctors appointment. I can honestly say i cannot believe that 3 weeks from today is my due date!!!!! Time literally has flown by for me. All of these other women in my life say it will drag and you will be wishing it was over. I have yet to feel that way at all. So for now no news is good news :)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Hospital tour, anxiety, and getting closer!!

We went to the hospital tour and of course Nick was bored because he see's that everyday. The rooms are nothing special at all and quite small but in all honesty what will i care at that moment in time. It didnt increase or decrease my anxiety. It was extra funny that my OB was sitting up there when we toured. I told the baby he better not get any ideas :)

My anxiety is at an extreme level. I had a melt down the other day. As i stated before it is not because im nervous about becoming a mommy because i have all the confidence in the world that i can do that. Im worried about the labor process, the pain, the length and the what ifs. If i hear "Women do it everyday" one more time i think i may go off. I have been in complete silence about the overwhelming anxiety i have. I have an upcoming GBS test this week as well as a growth ultrasound. Im terrified of the GBS test and i cannot really get into detail without including too much information. Sometimes it would be comforting to know that im not the only one out there who has all of these physical barriers and pain problems.

Tomorrow i only have four weeks left. I cannot believe it literally. I love feeling him kick and move around in there and the aches and pains and sleepless nights are so worth it right now. I cannot wait to meet him but he needs to stay put until February for sure. Nick is more then excited to meet his little boy. Im excited and terrified all together and just overall concerned about the day i have him. My one and only support will be Nick and it will be that way until family starts to arrive the following week. Thats all for now until my appointment on Wednesday.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Most people do not know, but were not setting up a nursery since we are planning on moving into a house. Weve already looked at 10 houses and none have worked out so far. So baby boy will be in a bassinet in our room with a few things in the apartment until we move. Here are some nurseries that i enjoy :)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I need to whine, complain, vent!

I have done pretty well keeping a lot of things to myself lately including any mild complaints but now i just need to release them and what better way then here. Im at the point where bending over no longer exists, in fact its painful so why even do it. I experienced my very first dose of braxton hicks last night. Nick has me laughing so hard and my stomach was so tight i could barely breathe. Both signs that it was BH.

I have had a tremendous amount of anxiety on my mind the last few weeks and it still continues. Please dont anyone respond and say "thats normal." because this isnt in the least. Im expressing all of my concerns to the doctor and hoping she will tell me what i would like to hear and we can schedule a c-section. More then likely i will not know for another 3 weeks if i have c-section or not. The dr also had me stop my nausea meds which is not going well. Im still feeling constantly sick, im just one of those women who have it the whole pregnancy.

For those who dont know, Nick and I are avidly looking for a house, yes perfect timing right. We know that we probably wont move until after our little boy is born which is fine with us but at the same time i dont get to set up a real nursery. The slightest thing seems to get me down and i cant really express that to anyone because i dont want to hear well your just emotional.

Finally, people always seem concerned or at least ask how things are going but then once i get used to updating them on a normal basis, they dont even respond which im sorry makes me furious. You wanted to know the information but dont care about it now. So i guess from now on i will only update through the blog to relieve my stress. I feel like an invisible wall who is unable to be heard at most times. Lastly, there are things going in my personal family life that no one is aware of that cause some considerable amounts of stress and before people start assuming it has nothing to do with Nick. Family is one of the most important things and i prefer to keep some of that private and it weighs heavily on my shoulders. So please do not assume that you know what is going on. It made me realize that some problems are so minute compared to what happens in life so do not take it for granted at all.